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A Guide To Whips

The term, “whip” has taken on a generic meaning of anything with which you can whip someone, or some thing. In the BDSM world, “Cats” and “Floggers” are often called whips, while “proper” whips are likely to be called “single-tails.” Strictly speaking, whips have a single lash, which is usually braided and tapered so that when “thrown,” the whip’s tip accelerates,...

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Make Sure You’re Used, Not Abused

Now here is a sticky one. What constitutes abuse? Some might say that having to wear a thong was abuse, or being made to do dishes, or having a water restriction on bathing their much loved front lawn. Abuse may indeed be in the eye of the beholder. For myself, tie me up and whip a few pints out of me, and I will be less than a happy camper. For another, that is exactly what they have planned for next weekend. To each their own. I am not...

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Orgasm Control & Relaxation

Relaxation and Orgasm Control – are you up to it? Cleansing breaths are important to all kinds of relaxation tools. To take a cleansing breath you must first stop thinking. How do you do that? Well, since it is impossible for the human brain to not think (because even thinking of nothing is still thinking) you pick one specific thought to focus on. Some people like to think of a color. Others like to think of a peaceful scene such as...

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A Dozen Steps To Domination

My Daily Reminder that a commitment to the D/s lifestyle must be taken seriously. In my research I came across some writings that helped me understand many things about the life I lead. That’s where I first noticed what the 12 steps to Dominance and the 12 steps to submission. I adapted and adopted it to fit my own thinking and in this essay I elaborate upon each point. It helps me understand better my own thoughts, and I hope it...

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Session Planning for the BDSM Swinger

Session planning can be a controversial topic in the BDSM community. Some kinksters believe that planning is the enemy of spontaneity, and that some of the most magical moments come from identifying and capturing unexpected opportunities. For the most part, they’re not wrong. On the other hand, it’s impossible to achieve any complex long-term goal without some degree of forethought. As in most cases, the answer is somewhere...

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Mental Aspects Of My Submission

I have always yearned for a man to take what he wanted from me. Even the thought of it makes my juices flow. I am sexually charged even by denial of sexual pleasure if it is done in the context of sexual domination. Even some pain and humiliation, if done for the sexual pleasure of the alpha male is too arousing for me to deny. Looking for a man to offer my submission is an ordeal. Although I want to be used, abused, humiliated, tested,...

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