Have you ever wanted to be in Complete control? To, almost literally, hold someone’s life in your hands? To trace a razorblade down and over their jugular? To hold a knife to some one’s throat and wonder if that inevitable shudder will be followed by the sigh that will tell you it was pleasure AND pain? Because the two emotions are so intertwined, they are at times indistinguishable. Was that shudder simply fear, pain, or the...

Basic Concepts in BDSM Foreword: The content of this essay first appeared as a set of posts in my MySpace blog. After finishing the series, it occurred to me that the concepts presented there might be useful to novice writers as well as those who might just be curious so I decided to clean up my reasoning and present it here. It is not intended to be an exhaustive treatment of the subject matter: it should be viewed more as a generalized...

Are some of us born more naked than others? Brought into the world ready to take in every criticism, suggestion, or unkind remark as gospel, increasing the shame and humiliation delivered along with the placenta? If so, maybe that manner of coming into the world created my submissive nature – or maybe my submissive nature merely makes me comfortable with embarrassment and shame. In the daily rush of getting through life, these are...

The question I am most commonly asked about BDSM, both here and in real life, is how one differentiates between Domination using extreme sensation and abusive, hurtful relationships. One of the few things I’ve consistently found agreement on within the BDSM community, here and elsewhere, is the primary need to adhere to the SSC motto. So, let’s take a look at this a little more closely. What does Safe, Sane & Consensual...

All the D/s (Domination/submission) relationships I know of, and have read about, have rules and rituals that the submissive must follow. I am sure that those not involved in D/s must think that such regimentation would stifle any relationship and make it unbearable on the submissive. I am sure that many men and women who are just discovering their submissive side, and who are thinking about embarking on a D/s relationship, find reading...

Rule One. Be yourself. That’s it. Be true to you and let the rest fall as it may. If it is your luck to find a really good Dom, then you will have a million and a half new things to learn, guidelines for your new life with Him or Her, new ways to express yourself and expand on your want to give and serve. But I think the only ironclad rule is that, to be yourself. Because let’s face it, if you are just something hammered and...