This seemingly innocent question from the current lady in my life – well actually just in my bed – set me thinking. Just what does make me cum or, more accurately “What makes me want to cum?” Is it appearance, position, technique, or what?


Is it physical appearance? Well the short answer to that is of course “no” although it does have a major impact in the initial stages. I can remember once being attracted to a girl who absolutely exuded sex and only to be turned off to find she had a veritable art gallery of tattoos over her body. Personal taste maybe, but not one that I shared. I will also admit to a personal preference to the smaller breast sizes – and definitely no surgical enhancement. For me there is just something about a nice natural B cup breast that lures me on. That is not to say that I have not enjoyed the company of some much more endowed women but I am sometimes conscious that I do not spend the time caressing and administering to their bust that perhaps they deserve or desire. One lady once asked if I preferred shaven or unshaven women and that was also a question which I pondered over for several weeks afterwards. She was equally fascinated by it – she was of the opinion that guys like me who enjoy spending a long time going down on their women would appreciate the unshaven but that not true – at least for me. Natural pussy hair is usually quite soft and certainly not objectionable. Equally smooth pussies have a texture and feel that is also very pleasing. What is not quite so nice is stubble! Sorry ladies but if you shave, make sure you keep up the work on a regular basis! I could go on about physical appearance but at the end of the day, no matter if you prefer brunette or bland, small or large, shaven or natural, we are talking about what gets you into the bed and naked. It has little to do with cumming.


I guess we all have our favourite position and a lot of people have hang ups about sexual positions. Certainly many women seem to think that, for instance, the doggies position is degrading while others think it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. Many women prefer to be under their partner, others on top. For many it’s the ability to control penetration, both depth and angle that leads them to want to ride their partners rather than any sense of domination or simply being “in charge.” Position for me is more about freedom of movement or, more particularly the ability to use your hands. While I am quite happy to be on top, like many gentlemen I end of carrying my body weight on my hands and arms rather than letting myself crush my partner. With the lady on top or doggie style I can simply allow my fingers to do the walking and to involve myself in heightening my partners pleasure. So for me, Yes, position is very important in the overall picture of what makes me want to come.


So is it technique? Well that gets us closer to the truth although I have come with a raw novice and a very experience d women so it can not be the whole story. When I was much younger and living in Hong Kong I enjoyed a couple of nights with one of the Wanchai bar girls (a very cute Fillipino girl). They were past masters in getting their customers to cum quickly because they could simply get more tricks into an evening. Even when, like me, you were the last one of the night, they would still try and get you to cum quickly because, they said, you were more likely to take your time afterwards to please them as well. Certainly there was some truth in that and the second cumming (no pun intended) could often be delayed to both our satisfactions. As I indicated earlier, I am a great lover of oral sex as both a giver and receiver although a classic 69 holds less interest for me as I prefer to give my full attention to either pleasuring my partner or allowing the pleasure she bestows to occupy me fully. Undoubtedly, good oral sex can easily make me cum and there is something about the sensation of pumping your seed into your lovers mouth. I’m not sure if it’s the power or subjugation imagery, or just the very real sense of being able to see yourself cumming at the point of ejaculation I am not sure. I well remember –as I think most guys do – the first time I ever enjoyed a real deep throat. Several girls had boasted of their prowess but when you feel the had wrapped around your already stiff penis the warning signs come on that this may be a little short of the real thing. My all time favourite lady was one who held her wrists behind her bank and would look up into my eyes with her big brown saucers and just simply went down on my cock, devouring every inch like a sword swallower until she was literally buried in my balls. I am sure she could handle much bigger buys than me but I have to say that first view of her had me cumming a bucket load down her throat!

It’s not just oral technique either what a lady does with her pussy and legs also has a great impact. For many years I was very dubious of the benefits in sex of keigal exercises until the first time my cock was deeply planted in a pussy of a lady who took great care of her inner self. Entry had been easy and non-inspirational, but then I found the inner walls being closed around me and I knew instantly what others had meant by the term “held by a silken glove”. My cock was literally caressed and squeezed internally by this talented woman. She had never had kids but used little internal weights to help tone and train her internal muscles while she was sat at her desk in the office. She was a talented lover in many ways but certainly she processed the most talented pussy I have ever known. Many men will say that a tight puss is better than a slack one and that may well be true but I’m sure we have all cum in both types. For me its what the lady can do to you internally that is the differentiator.

I also have a penchant for anal sex. Men, I think, split between those who crave to be inside their lady’s backside and those who just prefer sex the way nature intended. I have tried to analyse why anal sex is attractive to me and always failed. The closest I have determined is the fact that sex in the backdoor is somehow taboo or at the very least, a little bit dirty and naughty. Overcoming a resistance to even penetration your lovers bottom with a finger, let alone a full erect penis, is a bit like deflowering a virgin and you just know that its probably a very special girl that your lover is giving you. For me just a finger penetration increases the heart rate and drives me higher, fucking even more so, but I wonder if the physical act of anal sex answers the question of what makes me want to come or simply says that I might cum better, harder, or whatever.

Aural sex

Not a misspelling but sounds I think can make you cum. For me, a vocal lover who encourages you and spurs you on with soft words initially and the dirty talk later can certainly enhance proceedings. However, sounds have to be used with care. I am sure we have all watched porn movies where the girls screams and moans are obviously faked and/or dubbed in later. This I believe ruins the whole experience and I will often turn the sound off and simply enjoy the voyeuristic pleasure.

Pain and Suffering

In the past I have written several stories which are built around the theme of some form of physical or mental cruelty being inflicted on the women. Without going into details here, my similar real-world experiences have nearly always been a major turn-on for me and for the ladies concerned. However as, I hope, in my stories there has been some element of feeling – trust, mutual bond which controls the nature and degree of the actions. Even if you do not admit to being into BDSM, most of us have fantasised about tying our lovers, fucking them hard and deep or whatever and many more have fulfilled these dreams. And, in case you don’t think of this as pain, ask your lady afterwards if she really enjoys being treated to your cock acting like a jack-hammer in her pussy!


Mood I think is very important. It comes in two forms; the mood and ambiance in which you find yourself at the time, and also your own personal mood. We probably all get turned on by being in a room with a desirable partner, perhaps at the end of a wonderful day or evening, soft light, background music a little alcohol –all make us receptive for love making and perhaps raw sex. Equally, the spontaneous moment, on the beach, in a car, in a wood with the fresh smell of spring filling our nostrils, all can make the juices flow. But that also points to the other type of mood, our own personal mood.

We have all had days when we just “don’t feel like it,” the old joke about not tonight I have a headache can equally be applied to both sexes. Even when the rebuff is ignored and the partner makes serious advances, both partners should know that things just are not right. It takes longer for the guy to get hard, pussy juices don’t flow the same way and perhaps ultimately the partner who feels out of salts, just does not come. We have all been there I’m sure. So mood is important, a conducive environment which matches that of the two lovers greatly enhances the overall experience.


I am conscious that the comments above are mostly about me and my preferences and I think that’s both inevitable and part of the answer to the question. You now be thinking that I (the writer) just needs to find a slim lady who likes a lot or oral sex and then to be fucked doggie style with a little anal play while soft music drifts out of the speakers to get off. And why did he take all this space to tell us and do we care?

Well, I can’t answers the last part and the first statement would be true. However, it is a long way short of the real me. I like to experiment and I’m sure most of us do. If we have some feelings about the person we are having sex with, then we also care about how our actions relate to them. For me, the answer to “What makes me want to cum” is about the climax of a truly shared experience. Whatever your tastes, desires, or fetish, wanting to cum should be the culmination of that mutual act. It should not just lived you satisfied and fulfilled it should also leave wanting that little bit more. Can I improve the experience even more for my partner? What can I do to make reach new heights? Can she help me reach a higher plain?

This is probably the true answer to the question about what makes me want to cum – I want to reach sexual fulfilment if not this time, then the next time.

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